"Dear Monica"

By Monica Moniz, '10

Dear Monica,
I am struggling with this girl in my shop; let's call her "Monique". "Monique" is a really good friend but I can't help but hate how she always steals the spotlight and everything HAS to be about her. I feel like in everything I do, I am following in her shadow! I would really like to stay good friends with her but also tell her to be more considerate of others. Monica, how do I tell "Monique" how I feel without ruining our relationship?

Sincerely,
"Shadow Friend"

Dear "Shadow Friend,"
My advice is for you to stop following in your friend's footsteps. Be your own person, and instead of letting her stick out in the crowd, why don't you try being the center of attention? This might make her realize it's not all about her. Also, you should tell her how you feel instead of sitting around and letting her grab the whole spotlight. If she is in fact a good friend of yours, she'll try to understand where you're coming from and try to reduce her behavior as an attention-grabber. I wish you the best and hope your friend "Monique" stops stealing the spotlight and learns to share it with her friends.

Dear Monica,
It's almost the holidays and I wanted to get gifts for my friends. I haven't been that close with this one friend of mine, but last year, I considered her my best friend. I have been hanging out with different people and have been improving how I dress and participating in a lot of school activities. In other words, we've lost touch and I may have changed a bit... I don't know what she may think of me at this point, even though we smile and say hi to each other everyday. I would like to get her something nice for the holidays, but I'm not sure she's getting me anything in return. I'm absolutely fine with this, but I don't want her to feel as if I'm showing off or acting like I expect something in return; I'd just like to start up a friendship with her again. What should I do?

Sincerely,
"Miss Clause"

Dear "Miss Clause,"
As the holidays approach, everyone always wonders who to buy for and even if they should get that certain someone a gift. My advice to you is, if this friend of yours thinks you've changed, imagine how she'll feel if you just blow her off and stop the routine of buying her a little something for the holidays! You don't need to go overboard and buy her the most expensive item in the store; but a frame with a picture of you two or a small bottle of her favorite lotion always makes a nice gift. Whatever you get this friend of yours, I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Also, you should continue to do what makes you happy. All your extra activities are helping you to become who you really are, and if she is a true friend she'll stick around through all the changes you might make. Best of luck!